Running Backwards
by Acid burns
Summary: Time-traveling-Cloud doesn't exactly know he's in the past and Cloud-from-the-past doesn't know why he's remembering things that haven't happened. Yet.
1. Changes

It started with the scars. The blond cadet couldn't pinpoint exactly when it had started. When Cloud looked back, the last few days had been riddled with signs like these, he could hardly believe he hadn't noticed before. He had only really noticed this morning when he looked in the mirror and saw a tiny scar running through his eyebrow. That hadn't been there last night. In fact, little scars covered areas of his body he couldn't remember ever getting injuries on. There was a particularly nasty one on his shoulder, the scar tissue was thick, as if it had been forced to grow over something. He wondered how he would have even gotten a scar like that, did he get shot or something? Despite the number and depth of the scars, there was no unusual pain accompanying them. They felt old, like just another part of his skin. It was a matter of seconds before he stopped noticing them. He had to forcibly remind himself they weren't supposed to be there when his hands brushed over one and hardly felt it.

After that, it was the calluses. They had probably been growing at the same time as the scars, but Cloud hadn't noticed them at all. It was only when he brushed a hand over his cheek that he felt something was wrong. Were his hands always this hard? He would've thought that he was just finally developing calluses from all the rifle practice he'd been doing but he hadn't picked up a gun in a few days, too busy working on other classes. Besides that, when he went to practice on his own after class ended, his rifle felt wrong in his hands. It just didn't belong.

As Cloud was putting his rifle back on the equipment rack, his eye caught a sword. Out of curiosity he picked it up, he had never tried a sword before, despite all his lofty ambitions to be like the general. He put it back down after a few test moves in disinterest. '_It's off balance_,' he thought in minor annoyance. He was nearly out of the training room before he realized the odd nature of that thought. It was "off balance"...?

Cloud went back and picked up the sword again. It felt fine at first. Like a sword. But no, there was definitely something wrong about the balance. The hilt was a little too heavy, the blade had no weight to it. The longer he held it, the worse it felt. '_That chip in the side is throwing the weight to the left. If someone were to fight with it, they would end up overcompensating because the hilt is too heavy, they wouldn't even notice the chip until it was too late. A chip like this is enough to ruin the integrity of the sword, one good hit and I bet it would snap. I could fight with it if I was careful to only land hits on the base of the blade but it-'_ Cloud dropped the sword in a mixture of shock and fear and the stream of thoughts stopped. Those weren't his thoughts. He didn't know anything about swords. He _knew_ he didn't know anything about swords. But the information that had surfaced with the thoughts was still there. Nothing happened for a few minutes, so he reached down and gingerly touched the hilt of the sword. Again, nothing happened and he replaced the sword on the rack quickly.

Cloud returned to the barracks and had a nice shower, then slipped into the nearly deserted mess hall for a quick meal. As he was walking back to his room, he ran a hand through his hair, as he usually did, thinking nothing of the habit. But his hands didn't run through the hair like they usually did. Instead of catching on the long ungainly spikes, they slid though all too quickly. Had someone cut his hair while he'd been sleeping...? He glanced at his reflection in a passing window, he didn't really _look_ that different. Maybe his hair was a little shorter, but... hadn't it always been like that? He decided he was imagining things; it was late, he simply needed sleep.

When Cloud woke, he panicked, remembering that his squad had a drill that morning. He didn't hear any sound from his roommates and assumed they had left him behind. It wouldn't be the first time. He scrambled into his uniform, half tripping as he pulled the pants over his skinny hips. He was half done lacing his second boot when he realized the guy who slept in the bunk across from him was still there, asleep. It took him a few seconds to process that one. When he looked around, all the members of his squad were there, all asleep. He looked over at the clock on the wall. He still had half an hour before the wake up call would come. Oh. He went to the bathroom, still only half dressed and splashed cold water on his face. After his burst of adrenaline, he wasn't going to fall asleep again he knew. He finished putting on his uniform in leisurely silence, unused to having extra time. By the time the bell did ring, Cloud was fully dressed and alert, which was odd, considering how much of a morning person he _wasn't_.

When the dreaded drill came around, Cloud found he wasn't doing as badly as he expected. Although he was lagging behind the others that were still able to run, he managed to finish the running without collapsing. The same was true of the other exercises. He wasn't the best in the squad by a long shot, but he was no longer the worst. He was on his way back from the showers when he was cornered by two members of the squad from the next barracks over. These two had made a habit of taking out their anger on Cloud. He had never done well in any of his classes, especially anything physical. As such, he wasn't well liked by his teachers and fellow cadets. The first time this had happened, he had called out for help, but everyone averted their eyes and walked by.

Cloud started frantically trying to figure out what to do. Stay and let them beat him up? What other option was there? '_Calm down_,' his frantic mind slowed a little. Wait, why did he think that...? '_It's okay. You can take these guys,'_ no, that was definitely not him, even if it sounded no different then his thoughts normally did. '_They're stronger, but you're faster, remember?'_ Well, that was true; he had little to no endurance, but he _was _fast... But what did that have to do with- '_Stay calm, don't let them rile you up.'_ They were saying something to him, but he was hardly listening. '_Look at them; they're overconfident. Sloppy.'_ One of them pushed his shoulder, but, distracted, he let himself be pushed back a step and didn't respond. '_Will you fight or let yourself get hurt?' _the voice that was him but _wasn't_ at the same time asked him rhetorically.

A fist came flying at him and it was just _so easy_ to step under it and use the bigger boy's momentum to push him over. The other boy lunged at him, but Cloud slipped to the side and let him trip over his fallen friend. They both stood, livid, and he could feel his heartbeat jumping off and on rhythm. The adrenaline was doing something odd to his body and he couldn't concentrate on the boys who were charging at him. Cloud's vision was blurry, clouded with a swirling blue-green light. He lashed out, but he couldn't quite tell if had connected. He felt a sharp pain as he was punched in the stomach. He didn't remember falling, but then he was on the ground and they were kicking him. The kicks didn't hurt as much as they should have; '_I've felt worse after all,' _he thought grimly to himself. Wait, what? Felt worse? What was- Suddenly, there was a burning sensation in his heart. Every pump of blood sent a searing pain through every part of his body. Cloud might have been screaming, he wasn't sure, didn't care. He couldn't hear anything, there was a pounding in his ears that drowned out everything else. He couldn't tell if the two boys were still kicking him, he couldn't feel anything but the awful burning. Finally, he passed out from the pain and his mind went gloriously blank.

Cloud was disoriented when he woke up. Instead of the cold gray of the barracks, he was in a room that was so white, he could almost taste the white in the air. Some analytical part of his brain, a part he couldn't remember having, was telling him he was in an infirmary. '_Now, what did I do this time? Did WRO drop me out of a helicopter again? Reno said he thought it would be funny. It was sort of 'funny' until I was attacked by a Nibelheim dragon on the way down._'

'No wait, what is WRO again?' he asked himself. Vague memories of various faces flashed through his head. Cloud recognized several, one being the vice-president of Shinra. There were also a couple people in Turk uniforms that he recognized if only because of the clothing. One of them, a red-head, was labeled "Reno" in his head, he could only presume it was the same Reno who supposedly dropped him out of a helicopter. It was a very blurry memory that didn't make any sense, as Cloud couldn't remember ever traveling in a helicopter. Nor did he seem to be motion sick in the memory. It was ridiculous in general really, he couldn't fight a Nibelheim dragon in the first place, disregarding surviving a fall from a helicopter. He tucked the memory in the back of his mind for later consideration.

Cloud remembered the fight, if you could call it that, in the hall and he looked around cautiously. The beds around him were empty, but a few beds over the curtain had been drawn around a bed in the corner. The burning pain had subsided and any soreness was rapidly fading. There were no doctors or nurses around, so he slipped out of the bed and put his boots and helmet back on. He wasn't normally one to run off without permission, but something about this room was starting to really get to him- another blurrier, green-tinged memory surfaced that he instinctively blocked from his mind. It was high time to get out of here. He could hear an argument going on in the next room, the voices sounded familiar, but he ignored it and crept past the open doorway. As he passed, he glanced in to see a man in a lab coat with his back to him; he could see the shape of another man behind him, the two were arguing heatedly. He slipped out the door silently and walked down the hall warily.

Cloud checked his PHS for the time and was surprised to see he had been out most of the day. His squad should have been in the mess hall, but it was too late to slip in with them, so he headed to the gym instead. It was as deserted as he had expected it to be, so he took off his helmet and the heavier parts of his armor. Dressed in a white shirt and navy blue pants, he could've been any rank, really. He went to the weapon rack and, on a whim, picked out a sword. He selected one that, logically, he knew he shouldn't be able to lift and held it for a minute to check the balance. '_Well, it's not the fusion sword, but it will do_.' Fusion sword? What was- A picture of a large complicated-looking broadsword floated to the top of his mind. Oh, of course, the fusion sword. How could he have forgotten his beloved weapon? 'When exactly was _that_ memory from?' he wondered absently. He was remembering a lot of strange things recently.

The sword was surprisingly easy to lift. Cloud suspected he was used to the heavier weight of the fusion sword, even though he wasn't sure it even existed. He began doing kata in an attempt to calm down, temporarily ignoring the stubborn side of his brain that insisted that it had never helped before. His instincts were stronger and easier to follow and besides, it _was_ helping. Blocking out his thoughts with practiced ease, he flowed through the movements with a grace that felt too familiar to be unnatural. He wasn't sure _why_ it was so calming, but all of his stress just melted away. 'I know what I'm doing,' he realized. 'Not only that, I'm good at it.' Being the object of mostly scorn, he'd never felt particularly _good_ at anything. He mostly felt useless, like a mistake, but this... This felt good. This was comfortable, familiar; so natural, it was like breathing. He didn't question his sudden skill. He didn't question the memories flooding his mind. He didn't care.

At some point he stopped. Cloud wasn't sure how long he'd been going for, fighting imaginary enemies and making games out of remembering different fighting styles he'd learned. It was probably late and he was definitely tired. 'Normally I'd be able to go much longer, but this younger body-' even in his tired mind, that sounded a little wrong- 'is still weak.' He collected his gear and made his way through the doors quietly. It was certainly past curfew, he had to be careful. He could hear a set of footsteps around the corner and darted down the hall. Cloud snuck through the building with a smile on his face. He wasn't sure why he was happy, but he was. Everything was just so carefree. Nothing bad could happen. He suspected it had something to do with being tired, he hadn't been _tired_ in so long after all. There was something he was forgetting, he was sure, but he ignored the niggling feeling in the back of his mind, it could wait.

Cloud woke up in a cold sweat the next morning. A dream hovered at the edge of his memory, but he couldn't quite recall it. Based on the state he was in however, he wasn't sure he wanted to remember. Like yesterday, it was a half an hour before the wake up call. He sat in bed panting, staring at the bottom of the bunk above his. His thoughts wandered, as they do when one wakes up from a frightening dream. 'Oh right,' he thought, 'that was what I was supposed to be remembering last night. _I'm here to save the world._'


	2. Interlude: Questions Without Answers

Shinra's general finished his paperwork for the day and stretched out his under-used muscles. Sephiroth glanced at the clock on the wall of his office; it was still early, he had time for a quick workout before bed, he decided. He wandered down the hall, it was some time after hours and no one else was around this late. He took a detour into the viewing area above the floor of the gym to make sure no one else was there. He wasn't expecting anyone to be there, but there was someone picking out a sword from the corner. Since his back was turned, all Sephiroth could really see was his hair, but his hair was distinguishing enough without anything else. It was blond- bright blond- and _spiky_. The man wasn't wearing a uniform, so Sephiroth didn't know what rank he was, but he had picked what was probably the heaviest sword on the rack.

At first he held it like he wasn't sure what to do with it, his grip was clumsy and his stance was embarrassing. Sephiroth wanted to snatch the sword out of the blond-haired man's grip, he was only going to hurt himself. Then, to Sephiroth's surprise, he lowered his stance and swung the sword in a lazy arc followed by a block. It was the start to a kata, he supposed. He watched the blond critically, scanning for mistakes. As the moves got faster and more complicated however, Sephiroth had yet to find anything wrong with the man's kata. He glanced up at the man's face, expecting to see a look of concentration. Instead, the look on the man's face was blissful. The silver-haired man wondered how anyone could look so happy performing kata. Truthfully, he found kata quite calming, but he had never considered them as a recreational activity and certainly not 'fun'.

After watching for a while, Sephiroth walked purposefully down the stairs. He didn't recall meeting someone with hair that crazy among the Firsts. That he could be anything but a First didn't cross his mind, he was just too good to be anything else- even if it was just kata and not a real fight. He was curious to meet this unknown man, his hand twitched at the thought of sparring with him. It had been a while since he'd had a good spar. When he got down to the room however, there was no one there. The sword was back on the rack and the pile of gear on the floor was gone. Sephiroth stepped back out into the hall, but he couldn't see or hear anyone. It was too late to train now, so he grudgingly walked back to his apartment.


	3. Saving the World?

_His thoughts wandered, as they do when one wakes up from a frightening dream. 'Oh right,' he thought, 'that was what I was supposed to be remembering last night. _I'm here to save the world.'

* * *

Cloud wasn't sure where that thought came from, but the more he thought about it, he knew it was right. He was here to save the world. It was as simple as that. Or, wait, how was that simple? He stood up and walked to the bathroom. One glance in the mirror told him what he was already mostly sure of; his eyes were glowing faintly. 'Okay, so, I have mako,' he thought cautiously. The more he thought about that, the more sure he was that he'd always had it. Now that he was on the subject, he couldn't even remember when he _didn't_. ...Which was odd, because he was pretty sure that had been yesterday. He dismissed the thought, it wasn't really important.

Cloud closed his eyes and tried to remember something, anything, about what he was supposed to be doing. The world needed saving. Saving... Saving... Saving from what...? Besides, he was just a cadet, what could a cadet do? '_Just a cadet, hah, that's rich,'_ a dry, sarcastic voice that sounded an awful lot his his own thoughts muttered. When the wake up call rang, Cloud still hadn't remembered anything relevant. Instead, he had to suffer through the first two hours of class with a headache for his trouble.

Cloud's squad was combined with two others for class, but he didn't see the boys who had attacked him yesterday anywhere. Class went... better than expected. In battle tactics, the teacher had picked on him, intending to embarrass him. This happened often enough, it was no secret that he was the worst in the class. This time however, he knew _every answer_. He noticed at one point that the questions had surpassed what they had learned in class. But the answers were so obvious... He wondered how he had ever done badly in this class. After class the teacher had called him back and asked him how he had known all the answers. He tried to explain to the bulky Second class that the class was easy if you just looked at it from a _practical_ sense, rather than _diagrams_. The Second looked a bit insulted, so Cloud took that as his cue to leave.

Materia was hard as ever. By the end of class, Cloud had decided he was so bad at the class because he just _didn't care_ what kind of materia was supposed to be able to shatter if you used too much power. He also had a hard time with hand to hand combat, but for a different reason. They were learning a sword form that Cloud _couldn't _get right. No matter how hard he concentrated, he always put the wrong foot forward on the second to last move. Frustrated, he made to storm out of the room the second class ended, but he was stopped by a hand on his arm.

The stranger who had stopped him was so _red_ it was almost blinding. Red hair and matching leather jacket dominated Cloud's vision. If he had to guess, he would have said the stranger was First class Genesis Rhapsodos. But of course Cloud knew better. Genesis hated cadets, if it were really him, he would have set Cloud on fire rather than talk to him. The nicer, seemingly Genesis imitator, was asking him about the form, "Why do you lean on your left leg instead of your right?" he asked. Cloud paused to think about it. "Because I would overbalance and fall over if I used my right foot?" he muttered sheepishly. He had never been more embarrassed about his clumsiness. The other man's eyes narrowed.

He let go of Cloud's arm and stepped back. Resting his hands on an imaginary sword, he stepped through the last few movements of the form. Cloud wasn't surprised to see him complete it perfectly. Being as clumsy as he was, he was sure it was just him who'd had a problem with it. '_But still, something's wrong with it...'_ At first he didn't recognize the thought as foreign. He didn't realize it _was_ until he reached forward before he could stop himself and shoved the hands holding the imaginary sword back. Despite the stranger's perfect stance, the push sent the other man stumbling back a step or two.

Instead of looking annoyed, the redhead's lips quirked up in something between a smile and a smirk, "And there is the inherent flaw of this stance," he said smugly. "You must be used to fighting with something longer than those training swords."

Cloud shook his head, "Uhh, no sir, I'm just clumsy," he muttered.

The redhead, Cloud had begun calling him Crimson in his head, looked offended. "_That_ was not 'clumsy'. That was _experience_. I am not a fool, do not take me for one," he hissed. "You may be able to make your instructor think you know nothing, but that trick will not work on me. I do not like being lied to. So tell me. What. Weapon. Do. You. Use."

Cloud blinked in surprise. He didn't think Crimson was talking about his rifle... But he didn't use another weapon- _ 'aside from the fusion sword.'_ He remembered his late-night training session and the image of the modified buster sword. "I- the- uh- fusion sword," the blond blurted out.

He studied the other man's face for any sign of recognition. He was hoping for something that would trigger more memories, but the man's face remained blank, "The what?" he said.

"It's a sword that splits into five- no wait, six pieces and... Uh... I think I could draw it for you, if that would be easier..." Cloud muttered sheepishly. The stranger paused, then nodded, pulling an envelope out of his pocket, divesting it of its letter and handing it to Cloud with a pen.

Cloud brought up the image of the sword in as much detail as he could recall, and started sketching the shape. Two tries later, he had a passible drawing of the sword from his memory. Crimson whistled appreciatively when the drawing was handed to him, "It's more Hewley's style, but it's a fine blade. Where'd a cadet like you find a blade like this? More importantly, how can you lift it?" Cloud didn't know the answers to the questions, so he stayed silent. He _couldn't remember_ where he'd gotten it; only having it, then all of the sudden, not. As for lifting it, that was easy, wasn't it? Mako was the obvious answer. However, Cloud could see why he'd be questioning that answer. Although he _remembered_ having enough mako to make that sword seem light, the memory didn't fit into his mental timeline. Besides, he clearly didn't have the mako now, at least not in such high concentration. His head was starting to hurt again.

Crimson was giving him a calculating look that made Cloud slightly nervous, "Hmm, I'm _curious_ now. Come along," the redhead said, biting out 'curious' as if it were a bad thing. Cloud was beginning to think it was. Cloud followed the taller man out of the now deserted training room and up several flights of stairs. Crimson's stride was much longer than Cloud's, so when they reached the top, the blond cadet was several paces behind and very out of breath. Crimson snapped at him to "hurry up" and started down the hall without waiting for a response. Panting, he trailed after the red leather jacket.

'_Oh, this is where the Firsts train,'_ a detached part of his brain commented as he passed another closed door. He didn't bother questioning how he knew that. At that point, he didn't really care where they were going, as long as they got there soon. The redhead was waiting impatiently at the end of the hall beside an open door. "You're slow," he snapped as Cloud passed him to get to the door. He put something back in his pocket as the door closed behind them, Cloud thought he saw a corner of one of the First's keycards. 'Wait,' Cloud thought to himself, 'there aren't _that_ many Firsts.' The man behind him was obviously the real Genesis. He felt a little silly for not realizing it sooner. There was a limit to how much a person could imitate, he supposed. But this man seemed almost nice, whereas most of the rumors about Genesis involved someone dying, or being sent to the infirmary. Granted, he had quite the tongue, but he didn't seem sadistic. '_More arrogant than anything, really._'

Genesis had, meanwhile, found a sword somewhere and put it down in front of Cloud. "Pick it up," he ordered expectantly.

When Cloud obeyed, two thoughts struck him simultaneously. 'I expected this thing to be heavier,' and _'for its size, this sword is surprisingly heavy'. _He paused to try to think through that. 'It's light,' he thought firmly. For once, he was determined to be right. '_Compared to the fusion sword, yes,' _the thought returned immediately. 'Well yes,' he thought. 'but I couldn't lift something like this a few days ago, so why is it so light?' He could almost hear himself sighing, '_You've got mako. It's not light, you're just stronger.'_ He didn't have time to think anything else; at that moment Genesis charged at him, Rapier drawn.

Two hours later, Cloud stumbled into the mess hall, muscles shivering in exhaustion. Genesis was merciless. The two of them had sparred with a variety of different swords for the better part of the two hours they'd been there. An hour in, Genesis had forced him to sit down and drink some water because "You look you're going to pass out, or throw up. Or both." He could tell Genesis had been moderating his strength, especially towards the end of their spar. He still felt proud of the couple of times he caught the older man off-guard. Like his training session the previous night, he had been fighting almost entirely on instinct. Everything felt so familiar, as if he'd done it a thousand times. He couldn't help thinking that wasn't normal. 'What's wrong with me?' he wondered silently. '_Does it matter?'_

He had paused to contemplate this when he noticed the whispers. Everyone in the room was not-so-subtly staring at him and he could see hushed conversations spreading like wildfire. He passed through the room and wherever he went, the whispers quieted, only to start up again when he'd passed.

He caught snatches of conversation, things like, "I heard he dropped out,"

"After he put that boy from squad five in the infirmary-"

"-I heard they both ended up crippled-"

"-the teacher of battle-"

and "he skipped a drill, who does he think he is?"

The looming sense of dread that always hung over his head when he got any sort of attention was growing. In his experience, attention was never a good thing. As the cadet who seemed to have skipped puberty, being noticed in any way usually lead to a trip to the infirmary.

Cloud woke the next morning to the pleasant realization that nothing bad had happened to him overnight. By now, he should have known not to speak too soon. The teacher of battle tactics must have taken his comments yesterday personally, as he announced there would be a 'practical' exam at the end of class. Judging by the glares he got from half the class, he'd probably better not go back to the barracks tonight.

Their mateira teacher seemed to have taken a leaf out of the battle tactics teacher's book. They were finally going to start trying to actually _cast _materia. This didn't end of being as fun as Cloud had imagined. All of the times he had tried before, he had been able to cast a weak spell if he concentrated really hard. This time, he concentrated... And the mateira blew up in his face. Literally. When he looked it up later, he found that the materia they were using wasn't even supposed to blow up if you used too much power. He thought he must just be messed up somehow. He was, after all, the only one who had this problem. After this incident, he was forbidden to touch the materia again and was forced to sit in the corner and observe.

Cloud was in an awful mood when he finally got to hand-to-hand. To be more accurate, when he reached the hallway where the training room was. He never _actually_ made it to hand-to-hand. Genesis was waiting outside the classroom door, an impatient scowl on his face.

He had somehow found out about the materia incident. Cloud suspected Genesis had heard one of his classmates talking about it. In a brief moment of clarity, he remembered that Genesis specialized in materia. As he was dragged once again to an empty training room, he wondered how Genesis would respond. Would he be mad? Would he laugh at Cloud? More than anything though, Genesis just seemed curious.

"Why did it explode?"

"I don't know."

"Has this ever happened before?"

"No."

"What exactly were you doing?"

"I don't know, concentrating?"

"Concentrating. Explain."

"Thinking really hard? I- I don't know."

"Thinking about what?"

"Err, putting power into the materia, I guess."

"Putting power... You mean you tried to put your entire reserve into a level 1 fire?!"

"I... Sorry, what?"

"No wonder it exploded, what did you expect?"

"I don't-"

"Didn't your instructor tell you not to put out too much power?"

"Well I-"

"That was a stupid question, no unenhanced cadet has that much sheer power."

There was a long silence after Genesis's last remark.

"I'm not even going to ask," the redhead sighed. "Wait," he ordered, then stormed out. Cloud was left feeling confused and a little apprehensive. Of course, no amount of apprehension could have prepared the blond for what, or rather who, Genesis brought back with him. Angeal Hewley and _Sephiroth._ Cloud felt like a mouse being circled by hawks.

There was an uncomfortable silence for several moments while the two Firsts stared at him, calculating. Genesis meanwhile was standing off to the side looking smug. Finally, Sephiroth spoke, "Hewley, you spar with him."

Genesis went from looking smug to looking insulted, "I wasn't exaggerating you know," he sniffed.

Sephiroth shook his head, "I've got to see this for myself," he said quietly.

The answer seemed to satisfy the redhead who handed Cloud the training sword he seemed to think fit the blond best, "Do your worst, kid," he muttered mockingly as he passed.

Cloud was about to retort when he was stopped by a stray thought, '_that's about as close to a compliment as you're going to get; he believes in you, in his own way.' _Cloud tightened his grip on the wooden sword, 'I won't let him down,' he promised himself. The voice chuckled in his head, '_you're so loyal... I won't let anyone take that from you. Not again._'

Cloud put the cryptic last thought out of his head as Angeal stepped into position in front of him. Angeal was a completely different opponent from the start. He was much better at moderating his strength. Genesis would always switch back and forth between using his full strength and holding back. Angeal didn't seem to need the transition; as soon as he had a gauge of Cloud's strength, he fought at a level that was challenging, but not overwhelming. Their battle became a contest to see who could catch the other off-guard first. Cloud didn't have time to think, just react. After some time of fighting, the blonde wasn't sure how long, his muscles grew tired. He wasn't able to move as fast and Angeal knocked him off balance, ending the spar at last.

Cloud slumped to the ground in exhaustion. The three Firsts were talking quietly, glancing at him every so often. Cloud looked down at the floor. There were raised voices coming from the other side of the room and without meaning to, Cloud caught what they were saying.

"I can!" That sounded like Genesis. Cloud wondered what they were arguing about.

"You know you can't. No offense, but you'd probably end up killing him." If he had to guess, he would've said that was Commander Hewley.

"Fine! Why don't you do it?" Genesis again. Cloud had the sinking feeling they were talking about him.

"I've already got a student, I don't think I could handle another." Those words sent an unexpected pang through Cloud's chest. There was something he had forgotten, something to do with Angeal's student. But he didn't even know who this student was.

"Why doesn't Sephiroth do it then," Genesis muttered and Cloud could hear the sarcasm in the statement from across the room.

"That's not a bad idea actually," Angeal said, sounding surprised.

"What?" Sephiroth and Genesis said simultaneously.

"I found him collapsed in the hallway a few days ago. I carried him to the infirmary, along with another boy who was nearby. I didn't know him, but I have no doubt this is the same boy. He had severe mako poisoning, but Hojo insisted we contain the boy and observe him before trying to treat him. He somehow managed to sneak out before Hojo could get his hands on him, thankfully," Angeal bit out angrily. Cloud had a sudden, startlingly clear vision of that particular day in the infirmary and the two men he had seen arguing on his way out.

Before Cloud could react, Angeal was continuing, "I suspect he was already experimented on, most likely by Hojo. Either way, we can't let Hojo near him. Sephiroth, you don't have a student, so it wouldn't seem strange for you to be around him all the time. If he is with you, we can all keep an eye on him to make sure Hojo doesn't get another chance," Angeal explained. "Besides, teaching someone else could be good for you."

Cloud had begun wondering if he was going to get a say in this decision. '_You're a cadet, what do you think?'_ the voice thought dryly. He rolled his eyes, 'probably not then.' _'Bingo.'_ Still, he couldn't help being thankful that he had snuck out of the infirmary a few days back. Nothing he knew of Hojo, hearsay or blurry memory, was good by any stretch of the imagination.

The three Firsts approached him and he scrambled to his feet. "We have decided Sephiroth should mentor you," Angeal said.

Cloud noted that while it was diplomatically worded, it was not a question. "What if I refuse?" he asked before he could stop himself. The Soldiers exchanged glances. This clearly wasn't the answer they were expecting. To be honest, he wasn't expecting it either. Before he could think of anything to say, he opened his mouth and words came tumbling out again, "Apologies, that was a joke. It would be an honor." He felt his head bowing respectfully and wondered, not for the first time, what he had gotten himself into.

* * *

A/N: Cloud's title for Genesis is a reference to RegenesisX's _Making the Cut_, which is an amazing (complete!) story that you should definitely read.


	4. What He Got Himself Into

_Before he could think of anything to say, he opened his mouth and words came tumbling out again, "Apologies, that was a joke. It would be an honor." He felt his head bowing respectfully and wondered, not for the first time, what he had gotten himself into._

* * *

As Cloud stuffed his last shirt into the duffle bag sitting innocently on his bunk, his thoughts churned. He wasn't sure he had made the right choice. The voice- _his_ voice- had always made the right decisions, but he got the feeling that they were both out of their depth. At some point he had become used to making decisions at the last second. That decision had been nothing more than instinct; a desire to control some aspect of the suddenly unpredictable situation he found himself in. Cloud was afraid he had just made an irrevocable mistake, but this time there was no "voice" to save him. All of the sudden, he felt very alone.

Cloud picked up his bag and moved toward the door. At the door, he had to consciously stop himself from looking back. 'No, there's no going back,' he reminded himself. With his head held high, he left the cadet dorms for the last time, ignoring the uneasy feeling building in his stomach. He was afraid, yes, he could accept that. He just didn't understand what exactly he was afraid of.

Moving in to Sephiroth's apartment was an uncomfortable, silent affair. He was given a keycard by the unsmiling general, then he was shown to his room. It was the smaller of the two rooms, as the tour of the apartment revealed later. The furniture was nothing special; just a bed, a side table and a closet. The shared bathroom was at the end of the hall and Sephiroth's door was across from his. Cloud wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. There was also a small living room with a couch and a square table that seated four. The kitchen was a fair size and seemed well-equipped. All in all, it was a standard apartment. It seemed small considering Sephiroth was _the general_, but then again, it was Shinra after all.

Sephiroth finished showing him around and Cloud retreated back to his newly appointed room under the pretense of unpacking. He lay down on the bed at stared at the ceiling for a while. He tried to think optimistically; this was closer to the general than he could have ever hoped and hey, he would probably be safe from Hojo for at least the time being. Optimism had always been a strong point of his, but somehow "looking at the bright side of things" wasn't making him feel any better in this case.

Eventually he did unpack, albeit grudgingly. Unpacking gave the whole situation a finality Cloud didn't feel ready for. After his things were properly put away, he took off his boots and lay down on the bed again. There was nothing to do in the room, but he didn't want to leave; Sephiroth was outside he he just didn't know how to act around the older man. Sometimes he adored the general, sometimes he loathed him. He wondered if this was how bipolar people felt. He wondered if he _was_ bipolar. Eventually he fell asleep like that, tired from his earlier dual, thoughts chasing each other around in his head.

Unfortunately, his thoughts did not stay peaceful during the night. His dreams were feverish and twisted, he was never sure if he was awake or asleep. Several times he woke crying or screaming, unseen monsters in black leather and white lab coats haunting the darkness. Sephiroth was in the dreams, sometimes as his savior, but sometimes it was Masamune that inflicted the injuries. He remembered Sephiroth comforting him once, but he wasn't sure if it was a dream or reality. By morning he was exhausted, far more tired than when he had gone to sleep. He was beginning to hate nighttime.


	5. Interlude: Breaking Down

Sephiroth woke to frantic breathing. At first it was just pants and whimpers. Annoying, but easy to tune out. Then the screaming started. In the relative silence of his apartment, the sound cut through his sensitive ears like a knife, startling him to full awareness. He stumbled out of bed and practically flew into the next room where the sound was coming from. The little cadet was thrashing on the bed.

He reached for the boy's shoulders to shake him awake, only to have his hand seized in a crushing grip. The screaming abruptly stopped and mako green eyes snapped open. The pupils were slits, exactly like his and so bright, probably about as bright as his own. "Don't touch me," ordered a voice that was like his cadet's, but deeper, older and much stronger. The voice was filled with hate, fear and contempt; Sephiroth didn't know what to make of it.

The fierce expression eventually dissolved into shaky tears and the grip on his arm loosened until Sephiroth's arm fell back to his side. The little cadet was huddled in a little ball by the headboard, his head buried in his knees. "Are you okay?" Sephiroth asked softly. The figure shuddered and he could hear a fresh wake of sobs shake the blond. Eventually the crying stopped and with a last shuddering breath, Cloud collapsed back onto the bed. "Bad dream?" Sephiroth asked rhetorically.

To his surprise, the blond shook his head, "Bad memory," he mumbled in reply. His voice had reverted back to sounding like the child he was. "I'm sorry, you can go back to bed now, I'm fine," Cloud said. He didn't sound 'fine' at all. Sephiroth noticed that the boy hadn't looked at him once, choosing to keep his face buried in the blankets instead. Sephiroth decided not to push Cloud's boundaries; it had probably been a long night. He said goodnight and padded back to his own room quietly.

Once there, he lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling, listening to the cadet's breathing through the wall. In a matter of minutes, the calm breathing had reverted to quiet sobs. Cloud was probably trying to stay quiet so he wouldn't wake Sephiroth. 'If he only knew how sensitive my hearing is,' Sephiroth thought to himself. Somewhere in the back of his mind however, he still appreciated the thought behind the gesture. It was a long time before the boy's breathing evened out as he apparently fell back asleep. It was even longer before Sephiroth's thoughts stopped spinning around his head.

* * *

Cloud wasn't exactly avoiding Sephiroth, but he was careful to spend as little time in the same room as possible. He was still skittish around the general. The hero-worship hadn't worn off and unfortunately, neither had the paranoia. Due to a combination of nightmares and nerves, he hadn't slept in days. He spent most nights planning his escape. Trying to manage his conflicting personas had delayed him and now it would be harder than ever. He couldn't afford to get attached. He knew that, but it was hard now that he was getting to know the Firsts. It was Sephiroth's day off, a day Cloud normally reserved to take a walk around the perimeter of the Shinra complex. This time however, he wasn't planning on coming back.

* * *

"Did you talk to him?" Angeal asked as Sephiroth slid into his seat opposite the two other Soldier Firsts.

Sephiroth sighed, "No, he goes on 'walks' on my day off."

Genesis laughed, "Oh, so you mean he clearly avoids you." Sephiroth turned a moody glare on Genesis, but didn't reprimand him.

"Does he have any friends?" Angeal interjected.

"I don't know, none I've seen," Sephiroth replied.

Genesis rolled his eyes dramatically, "Of course he doesn't, that boy doesn't talk to _anyone_." The trio was silent for a few moments.

"What do we do?" Angeal pondered.

"What _can _we do?" Genesis asked rhetorically. More silence followed.


	6. Visits to Old Friends

_It was Sephiroth's day off, a day Cloud normally reserved to take a walk around the perimeter of the Shinra complex. This time however, he wasn't planning on coming back._

By midday, Cloud was out of the city. The clothes he was wearing were the biggest of his civilian clothes from before he joined. The rest no longer fit. Aside from the clothes, he had left his room mostly untouched. There wasn't anything useful that couldn't be traced back to Shinra. He felt bad leaving a mess for Sephiroth, but he thought it might give him a couple more days if no one knew he had left.

Cloud's bright hair had been stuffed into a perfectly ugly hat he had bartered off a shop in the slums. A couple of monsters in the slums had met their end at the hands of a length of pipe he had found lying around. This was not his preferred method of fighting, but it was better than fists. When he had enough gil, he bought a cheap sword and a couple unleveled materia. Hopefully he remembered enough to keep the materia from blowing up in his face again, as amusing as that had been.

It wasn't hard to get out of the city. He got a old bike in exchange for some work at a little shop in sector 8. It wasn't Fenrir, but it would do until he could buy a new one or the parts to mod this one. After that, Bahamut couldn't have stopped Cloud from leaving. His first destination was Junon. He planned to catch a ferry out to Costa Del Sol, then on to North Corel. He wasn't sure if the town had been destroyed yet, he couldn't remember if Barrett had mentioned the year or not. Either way, he planned on leaving his bike in North Corel. If anyone looked for him, he wanted them to go to North Corel. It would make things easier if he had some advance notice that he was being followed. His final destination was one he couldn't afford to be followed to. The place everything started: Nibelheim.

Two days of travel found him in North Corel. There had been no difficulty getting there, unless you counted the ridiculous fee he had been forced to pay under the table to transport his bike on the ferry. He had killed plenty of monsters on the way, so he had enough gil to buy himself a decent sword when he got to North Corel. Of course, he could've bought it anywhere, but if any word of him reached Shinra, he needed it to be from North Corel, not anywhere else.

The town was still intact and received a decent amount of visitors. This was lucky for Cloud, who didn't seem so out of place. He rented a room and wandered around town for half the day, talking to everyone he saw. Barrett was influential in the eyes of the townsfolk, so making friends with him did a good deal for Cloud's standing. That had been painful on Cloud's part. He thought it was unlikely that Barrett remembered anything, but he had still hoped. Somehow, after meeting Barrett again, Cloud felt more alone than ever. He didn't have any friends from this timeline and his friends from the future would may never become the friends he remembered. He was lonely.

He slept as fitfully as always, loneliness making his nightmares seem that much more real. While living with Sephiroth, he had kept his sleeping at a minimum. A combination of paranoia and nightmares had prevented him from sleeping much at all. Now, in the secluded countryside, he slept as long as he dared.

In the morning Cloud came out just as Barrett was going to work. He had planned this, of course, but pretended to be surprised to see the bigger man. He casually mentioned that he was getting an early start to Cosmo Canyon. He made up some story about learning more about the planet and warned that he may be gone for several days because it was so far away. He also convinced Barrett to mail him if anyone came looking for him. At that point, Cloud wasn't sure anyone would look for him, but he wasn't willing to risk it. He was counting on that fact that Soldiers would have better things to do than look for missing people they had only just met. He made a quick trip down to the mines and picked up some dynamite, then he was off.

Nibelheim wasn't too far away, a day's journey if you went over the mountains, so Cloud arrived late that evening. In such a small, secluded town, news that a stranger had arrived would spread faster than wildfire. That was something Cloud couldn't afford. When he was almost in sight of the town he turned off the light he was using and made his way down the mountain path in the dark by memory. At that moment he considered himself lucky that Nibelheim happened to be his hometown. Since the blond had come over the mountains, he was in back of the town. Which was, conveniently, where the Shinra mansion was located.

The mansion was as deserted as he remembered it being the first time through, which wasn't entirely surprising. It was only a few year's difference after all. And wasn't that a scary thought. Cloud spent the night in one of the guest rooms and tried not to think about who might have slept there before him. Both Hojo and Gast had worked here for some time and Cloud did not want to think he could possibly be sleeping in the same bed as the demented scientist.

When it was light enough to see, Cloud explored the mansion. All of the cryptic clues to the safe's combination he remembered from his time were gone. He vaguely remembered Zack being here and opening the safe, but there hadn't been a key in the safe. He crept tentatively to the basement. If he needed to, he supposed he could probably break the door down. To his surprise, it wasn't locked. Walking into the room, he was greeted by a pair of glowing red eyes. He didn't jump, but it was a close thing. Never in any of his planning had he expected Vincent to be awake.

"Vincent...?" Cloud asked tentatively.

"Cloud," a low voice growled.

"_Oh_. Hello Chaos, is Vincent available?" Cloud sighed.

A dark chuckle resonated through the gloom, "My little host is being more obstinate than usual~ I don't think I'll let him to talk to you," Chaos growled smugly. Cloud sighed again, he didn't like dealing with Chaos for that very reason. Chaos could be unbelievably unreasonable when he wanted to be, which was always.

"Fine. You seem to remember me, how much do you both know?"

It was completely dark in the room, but Cloud could see Vincent's body well enough to make out the creepy smile stretching across his face, "Oh, but that information will cost you~" Cloud pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"What do you want?" he muttered.

"I want to kill! I want blood!" the deep voice rasped, "Yours will do nicely," Chaos added helpfully. Yet another reason Cloud didn't like working with Chaos.

"No, I'm using it. How about this; you answer all my questions and I'll talk to Vincent about leaving. So many monsters running around outside... I bet Vincent wouldn't even mind if you tortured a couple..."

"But humans are more fun~" Chaos whined. Cloud didn't want Chaos going on a rampage, but he did need him to cooperate...

"I'm pretty sure Hojo is still running around..." Cloud mentioned casually. Neither demon nor host held a particular love for the scientist, as Cloud well knew.

"Deal." Chaos growled happily.

"How much do you and Vincent remember?" Cloud repeated.

"I remember up to the point you vanished. I assume we vanished shortly after," the demon answered.

"I vanished?" Cloud exclaimed.

"You have your old body back, don't you? What, did you think your older self was existing independently without you? That's illogical," Chaos sniffed.

"Right," Cloud muttered under his breath, "because going back in time made sense in the first place." Luckily Chaos decided not to comment on the last remark. Cloud thought he was probably getting anxious to go outside.

"Vincent is a mere human with less lifestream in his blood than you and I, he doesn't remember as clearly. He is aware of the future, but you could say it's as if it was a dream that he can remember only parts of," Chaos explained.

"He remembers Sephiroth and myself, yes?" the blond asked. Chaos shifted in a movement that could have been a shrug, "In theory."

"In theory?" the ex-soldier exclaimed, alarmed.

Chaos shrugged again, "He gets mad when I go through his memories," he said nonchalantly. Cloud decided not to ask what exactly that meant. He probably didn't want to know anyway.

"I need to talk to Vincent now," Cloud said. With no preamble, loud, insane laughter cut the silence like a knife. Cloud clapped his hands over his ears as the sudden sound irritated his enhanced hearing. The laughter faded into faint groans.

"Vincent?" Cloud asked. If Chaos had called out one of the other demons, Cloud thought he might stab the berserker next time he came out.

"Who's there?" Vincent's voice asked quietly. His voice was strong, but Cloud knew that the slight timbre meant he was in pain and trying to hide it. The blond felt guilty even though it was probably Chaos' fault, not his.

"Cloud," he muttered softly, knowing Vincent would hear it.

"Cloud..." Vincent said, "Cloud Strife."

"Yeah," Cloud breathed in relief.

"It's been awhile," Vincent muttered. In a sudden burst of loneliness-fueled affection, Cloud hugged Vincent. The ex-Turk was stiff and awkward, as would be expected of someone who had lacked human contact for 20-some years. Cloud let go after a few seconds, feeling distinctly embarrassed.

"I bought some dynamite in North Corel- thought we could pay Jenova a visit," Cloud grinned, brushing off his previous actions. Vincent's lips twitched upwards in some semblance of a smile.

"Agreed," he affirmed.

Cloud grinned back at his old friend, "Let's mosey."

The mid-morning sun shone over the cold land as Vincent and Cloud moved stealthily towards the reactor. Once they had moved past the initial stretch of winding trail, they struck up a quiet conversation about the future. They were nearly to the reactor when Vincent suddenly commented, "You've changed."

Cloud could feel his face heating up, "What do you mean by that?"

Vincent shrugged, "You talk more, you're less guarded; louder," he said.

"Well sorry..." Cloud muttered.

"It's not bad. Kalm... I've seen your past firsthand... But I didn't know it changed you so much." Cloud was silent, he didn't know what to say to that. Of course he was different. He hadn't always been stoic and guarded. Having his younger self in his head instead of Sephiroth, Jenova or even Zack was slowly replacing his paranoia with reassurance. For the first time since the Nibelheim incident, his mind was safe. Nightmares aside, being in a past where everything hadn't gone wrong; _might not ever go wrong,_ was doing wonders for his lack of trust.

"My father... Grimoire... Worked for Shinra. He was not a bad man, but... I knew trust as weakness," Vincent mused, "When I was betrayed, it was only proof that I had been foolish for trusting," Vincent explained.

"Trust... Maybe that's what I've been fighting for this whole time," Cloud said softly, "To create a world where trust is not weakness."

Vincent raised an eyebrow in his direction, "I thought we were fighting for our lives."

Cloud shrugged carelessly, "That too." Vincent chuckled and soon the two of them were outright laughing.

The laughter died away as the reactor came into view.

* * *

A/N: At this point, I would like to make it clear that this story is not slash or even romance. The hug is just the result of Cloud being emotionally starved.


	7. Insidious

_Vincent raised an eyebrow in his direction, "I thought we were fighting for our lives." Cloud shrugged carelessly, "That too." Vincent chuckled and soon the two of them were outright laughing. The laughter died away as the reactor came into view._

* * *

The reactor looked exactly the same as Cloud remembered it. The metal paneling was old and dirty, although Cloud had figured a few year's difference probably wouldn't change that. Supply and return pipes stuck out haphazardly, as if the whole structure was constructed in a hurry. Then again, the construction teams probably hadn't been anxious to stay on Mt. Nibel any longer than they had to. The rocky terrain surrounding them was by no means graceful, but the dark, jagged rocks were arranged in crystalline patterns that could be both mysterious and beautiful, if viewed with the correct about of optimism. In contrast, the metal building looked out of place.

_'...like it doesn't belong here,'_ Cloud thought absently. The thought seemed vaguely strange to him. He had grown up in Nibelheim after all, he was well used to the reactor by that time. In fact, it probably would have been stranger if the reactor hadn't been there. Still, he couldn't help thinking that the reactor didn't belong.

Vincent and Cloud approached the reactor carefully, on guard. They had been attacked by some monsters on the way up, but nothing that had caused any particular damage. There was no guarantee of what lay within the reactor however. Cloud wasn't sure exactly when the Mass Soldier Desertion Incident was supposed to happen, but it certainly hadn't happened yet. For all he knew, Jenova might not even be there.

For the first time, Cloud noticed the decay that was slowly creeping into the surroundings. No plants grew near the reactor and the crystal shape of the rocks were distorted and misaligned. Of course, Cloud had noticed the same decay in Midgar, but he had figured the natural mako in the pools was enough to stop the corruption.

_'Look at what Shinra is doing to the planet... Revolting, isn't it...'_ The quiet thought passed through Cloud's mind almost unnoticed. "If only there was no Shinra..." Some part of Cloud reacted to the last thought curiously. Hadn't he just been working in Shinra a few days ago? He wasn't aiming to destroy Shinra, just the corruption inside.

As terrible as it made him feel, some days he thought it would be easier if they just bombed the Shinra headquarters. Of course, all the innocent lives that would be wiped out as collateral always stopped him._ 'But if they're Shinra,'_ he thought to himself, _'how innocent can they be?'_ The thought made him feel sick and guilty for even considering it. Like most unpleasant thoughts, it stayed buried in the back of his mind, quiet and subtle, but impossible to forget.

The caves that led up to the reactor were just as decrepit as Cloud remembered them. Broken pipe and lengths of sheet metal littered the jagged rock floor. He wasn't sure how long the reactor had been in Nibelheim, most of his life, at very least. Surely there must have been a time when it was in better repair? Parts of the piping didn't seem to lead anywhere; it struck Cloud as a waste of resources. But then, it was Shinra. At the height of their power, they had the resources to burn.

The two men entered the main chamber from the side, walking past rows of sealed pods. The sight of the experiments inside sent Cloud's stomach into a painful twist that left him feeling slightly nauseous. Seeing the experiments here was more than enough to remind him of the experiments that had made him stronger. The plan to destroy Shinra rose to his mind unbidden. What had Shinra ever done that actually helped humanity? The world would be better off without them.

_'After all,'_ Cloud thought, _'it's my responsibility to protect the planet.'_

* * *

A/N: Unfortunately, I update faster than I write and I'm out of pre-written chapters. I'm still going to try and update every other sunday, but the chapters might be a little short and raw.


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